


my sun

by rinneqan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Mutually Unrequited, Self-Indulgent, Toxic friendship, hinata is toxic oops-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27714203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinneqan/pseuds/rinneqan
Summary: he was too bright and you were afraid of getting burned. you were too serene and he didn't want to be a tempest.
Relationships: Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	my sun

You loved Naruto. From his talkative and gushing attitude to the spikes of his blonde hair, you loved Naruto. There wasn't a single day where your brain wasn't packed with thoughts of the ninja. He permeated your body, he was the air you inhaled, he was the ocean to your shore, he was the **sun** in your sky. Little by little, a Naruto-shaped hole in your heart began to form and you couldn't help it; you were hopelessly in love with him. 

With arms open, you let him in. That was your first mistake. You let him discover the nooks and crannies of your personality. You let him hold your hand through the darkest parts of yourself. He burrowed into your soul. It hurt, but you were addicted to him. God, it was unhealthy. There were countless nights where you huddled into your blankets and cried about the blonde. You would cry out his name and speak of the devil, Naruto would come knocking on your bedroom window asking why you were crying. 

"Y/N? Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

_"It's because of you, dummy."_

You bit back your tongue and opted to find shelter into his warm arms. His hands carded through your tangled hair and whispered sweet nothings into your ears. Even hearing him talk felt like a symphony but you'd never admit it. The voice in your head told you to step away from him. You were hurting yourself but in the end, you let yourself indulge in this. In this moment, you could pretend like he truly wanted you.

When Hinata began to ask you to set her up with Naruto, you smiled reluctantly. You looked her in the eyes and saw the same desperation you saw in yourself. 

"You'd do anything for me, right Y/N? I've liked him for so long and I know your his best friend. If you love me, you would help me."

_Best friend. If you love me, you would help me._

The urge to simultaneously punch her in the face and break out into tears was absurdly strong. You choked back a sob, put on the brightest smile, and pulled her into a hug. 

"I'd do anything for you, Hinata. It's what friends are for!"

Later that night, you cried under the moonlight that filtered in your room. 

It soon became normal seeing Naruto and Hinata conjoined at the hip. Instead of hanging around Naruto, you found solace in the company of Tenten. She understood your situation and thought it was odd how quickly the dynamic shifted between you two. In an effort to help ease your mind, Tenten began to inform you about their budding relationship. You didn't mind the pain. The constant developments served as a ticking time bomb and maybe you'd gather the courage to confess to Naruto. Being around him and Hinata was becoming excruciating. Every moment spent with the pair felt like Hinata was trying to spite you. Everyone knew of how you felt towards Naruto and no one had ever dared to pull anything like this, besides her. It started to get to a point where Naruto would cancel plans with you to hang out with Hinata instead. Every instance of this was brought to Tenten and always ended in her reassuring your fragile mind.

"You should know how Naruto is. He hates disappointing other people. You and him are inseparable! Don't think that he's forgetting about you, Y/N."

The situation left a bitter taste in your mouth, fearing of what would come in the future. Were you supposed to be happy for him? Were you supposed to be happy for Hinata? You couldn't help but feel repulsed at the thought of the two together and desperately prayed that Naruto would come to his senses. As your relationship grew more distant, you forgot the simplest details of him. You've spent hours looking into those blue eyes, but at this point you couldn't even remember the hue? Were they ever brighter than the ocean?

-

On the other hand, Naruto was oblivious to Hinata's advances. The way she would try to grasp his hand or bump shoulders with him at any given moment was always interpreted as something platonically. Hinata had always expressed herself as an introvert, so he was glad to be able to help her come out of her shell but at the same time, he was losing you. Something in his head told him that this entire situation was messed up and wrong but he could not pinpoint **what** was wrong. Sure, Naruto was dense and unaware of a lot but he knew that he needed to see you before things went awry. 

No matter the moment, his mind couldn't help but trail towards you. It was an issue and started to interfere with his ability to complete his missions successfully. In the end, he decided to take a break from his team but all this free time led to more thoughts of you. He didn't know why he was so drawn to you. As kids, you were always so quiet and reserved, not caring for anyone else. Naruto was loud; his presence was deafening, but you still befriended him. The two of you were absolute opposites, but he couldn't help but want you.

You were collected, peaceful, calm, **serene**. You were always there to soothe the chaos that brewed within him, but he never wanted to disrupt you. He was a tempest, a raging violent storm, but he couldn't get away from you in time. Soon enough, Naruto yearned for your company and would sacrifice anything for you. He was so willing to put his life on the line for you and you would've done the same. Isn't that what friends do?

After ages of venting to Sakura, she became fed up with the blonde. 

"Are you actually that dense, Naruto? You two don't actually think you're just friends, right?"

Naruto sat with his back against a tree and watched as the girl in front of him stood up with an inscrutable gaze placed upon him.

"You got to be kidding me, Naruto. You were put off of missions for what reason? Thinking about Y/N too much! You always talk about her! Have you seen the way she looks at you? Nobody that considers themselves 'just friends' does that. You're in love with her."

A sharp pain ached in his chest and his eyes widened. _I'm in love with her?_

"Glad you now realize it. Better stat explaining to Y/N before Hinata ruins your chances." 

Later on in the evening, Naruto repeated what Sakura said like a mantra and couldn't help but feel like this was some kind of warning or wake-up call. When he put things into perspective, Naruto could see you in all of his surroundings. His eyes drifted to his bedside table where multiple picture frames and other trinkets laid and a small smile graced his face. You were the one to tell him to start framing photographs and you were the one that brought him little knickknacks home from all of your missions. Although these moments seemed like lightyears away, they were still vivid in his mind. Just like fresh ink on paper, he didn't want to ponder too much, afraid he would smudge and ruin everything he built up.

Instead of thinking things rationally, Naruto hurried to your house. On the way there, he continuously stumbled and tripped on his feet. The voice in his head was telling him to slow down and think, but you were the only thing on his mind. It was almost as if the universe was trying to stop him from getting you. As he knocked on your window, he noticed the warm crimson liquid slowly dripping down his face and becoming sticky. He silently cursed himself and gasped when you suddenly let him in. Naruto climbed into your room and tumbled onto the floor. Once you noticed the blood caking on his skin, you got to work quickly disinfecting the cut.

"What happened to you Naruto? Are you okay?"

Your fingers brushed an alcohol soaked cotton pad across the wound and he hissed in response.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just in a hurry and I had to come and see you."

The movement of your fingers hesitated and if you didn't catch yourself, you would've dropped the cotton pad on the floor. Dread began to bubble up in your stomach and you prayed that he wasn't coming to you for advice about Hinata. 

"You needed to see me? What's up? It must be urgent since you don't usually show up at my window with cuts on you." 

You didn't want to look Naruto in the face but it was inevitable. A light tinge of red began to spread across your face but you focused your efforts on his wound in order to distract yourself. You could feel Naruto's gaze on your face, studying your features and tracing them into his memory. He was entranced and a wave of emotion washed over him. 

"I love you, Y/N."

Your arms dropped to your side. Time seemed to slow and it seemed as if he wasn't speaking at all. His eyes were still fixated on your face. He was looking at you and only you.

"I can't believe I just realized this. I'm so stupid..."

His voice trailed off and you couldn't help but stare blankly at the man in front of your eyes. Naruto grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers. Your voice had left you including all self control. Your free hand gently stroked his cheek and the two of you leaned into a kiss.

You wouldn't lie, it hurt kissing Naruto. The dull aching sensation within your chest panged throughout your whole body. It hurt, but it was addicting. Pleasure derived from pain. You felt horrible. Selfishness was not your intent but at this point, you only wanted Naruto for yourself. Tasting him on your lips made you want to cry and that you did. Naruto quickly pulled away from you after feeling the wetness on your cheeks and concern filled his voice.

"Y/N! Are you okay?"

The pads of his thumbs quickly swiped away your tears as you sniffled.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay."

You looked into his eyes and mustered up the brightest smile you could pull.

"I just love you a lot, Naruto. That's it." 

Naruto pulled you into a comforting hug and the tears fell even harder. He carried you to your bed and laid with you. Your arms were wrapped around his torso as he held you flush against his body. Maybe this would be a new chapter for the two of you. A chapter where the two of you could finally belong in each other's arms. A chapter where you could truly be happy. After years of yearning and pleading to every deity, you finally had the sun in your hands. You moved closer to Naruto and whispered two words against his skin.

"My sun."

A warmth spread between the both of you, yet it was bitter. You clearly knew why, but Naruto decided to ignore the lingering doubt in his mind. When you woke up to the stray rays of sunlight filtering in your room, a cold feeling penetrated your soul. You reached over to the side but were met with cold sheets. With racing thoughts, you got up and got dressed hoping to find an excuse to cover for him but there was nothing. Did he have an emergency mission? His team probably needed him for something real quick and he had to leave in a rush. That would be the only reasonable answer right? Instead, you were met with an out of breath Tenten furiously banging at your door.

"Y/N!"

"Woah woah Tenten, calm down. What's up?"

Tenten was doubled over with her hands on her knees, inhaling sharply, until she took notice of the out of place smile on your face. 

"Wait, why are you so happy right now?"

Your heart burst at the seams simply thinking about the blonde that was once within arms reach.

"It's nothing, what's up with you though?"

"God, I don't want to tell you anymore. You look so happy."

"Hey, hey. I'll be fine, don't worry about it."

"It's Naruto. Naruto and Hinata. I'm so sorry. I am so so sorry, Y/N."

_Fuck._

"Where are they?"

"I don't know if they're still at the dango shop, but I'll take you there."

"Please. Thank you Tenten."

She quickly nodded and pulled you by the hand. 

As you and Tenten rushed out your house, you couldn't process anything. The dazzling colors of Konoha's summer became a blur. It was once a sight you cherished but now anything connected to Naruto made your gut twist and churn. Your lungs were on fire and the tears welling up in your eyes burned trails into your cheeks. You'd never thought the pain would be this unbearable. Everything you had known had been dug up and cast aside. Tenten came to a sudden stop and you crashed into her back. Wide glassy eyes looked at the scene acted out in front of the two of you. 

The faint echoes of Hinata and Naruto's laughter was deafening. You stood in shock, trying to tell yourself to avoid staring, but it was futile. Hinata's eyes locked with yours and she sent you a sly smile before placing a kiss on Naruto's cheek and lacing her hands within his. Her lips moved in silence as you stood still and watched.

_"I guess you took too long, Y/N."_

_-_

You loved Naruto. Maybe a little too much. Even after the excruciating pain he brought you, there wasn't a single day where your brain wasn't packed with thoughts of the ninja. When you got back home, you were met with his presence everywhere you were. Going on missions became challenging and your mind kept wandering to thoughts of him. Simply walking around the village was difficult. You'd either see Hinata all over Naruto or be reminded of all the memories you had made with the blonde. He was all over the village and you couldn't escape him. The thought of staying in Konoha was unfathomable so you packed everything up and left.

No matter the distance, there was an unbreakable bond between the two of you always tugging at your heart, yearning for it's other half. Without Naruto by your side the days seemed dull. He was still the air you inhaled, the ocean to your shore, the sun in your sky. You'd give anything and everything to see his beaming smile once again. The Naruto-shaped hole in your heart stayed resilient and grew as the days passed. You couldn't help it; you were hopelessly in love with him.


End file.
